Safety for men in Ireland: street violence, being a victim at home, and where to get help

Nothing here replaces 112 or 999. If you are in danger now, or someone is about to harm themselves, ring one of them.

This guide is for men and boys, and for the partners, friends and family who look out for them. Being hurt, controlled or assaulted is never a failure on your part, whatever your size, strength or job. Men’s Aid says: “what happened to you is not your fault”.[6]

Who to ring

The Male Advice Line is open Monday to Friday, 10am to 8pm, and 2pm to 8pm at weekends and on bank holidays.[7] You do not have to give Men’s Aid your name or any personal details.[5]

The scene this guide is for

A young man sits at the kitchen table at the end of a bad week. His partner checks his phone, controls the money and tells him nobody would believe him. He has stopped seeing his friends. He has not told anyone, because he thinks men are not supposed to need help.

He is not alone. Men’s Aid says men often do not come forward because they feel “they won’t be believed because of their gender and physicality”.[6] The people on its helpline will believe him.[5]

Who gets hurt: the numbers

The CSO counts the victims of crimes recorded by the Gardaí. In 2024:[1]

• 62% of recorded assault victims were male.
• 31% of recorded harassment victims were male.
• 869 men and boys were recorded as victims of sexual offences, up 54% on 2023. Most of the rise was men reporting abuse more than a year after it happened, nearly all of it from when they were under 18.

In two-thirds (65%) of detected assaults, harassment and related offences from 2023, the suspected offender was known to the victim.[1] These figures count only what was reported to the Gardaí.

Late at night: rows, fights and walking away

The Gardaí say December usually sees a rise in assaults. In 2024 there was a 12% increase from November to December, and 40% of assaults causing harm happened at the weekend.[2]

The Garda leaflet says many night-time assaults “occur at predictable flash points such as queues, outside licensed premises, fast food restaurants, and nightclubs.”[3]

The Garda advice on trouble is short:[2][3]

• “Never try to reason with drunk or aggressive people.”
• “Trust your instincts, avoid confrontation and if something is not quite right, go to a safe place straight away.”

Walking away is not losing. It takes the fight away from the person who wants one. If a mate is squaring up, getting him out of there may be the best thing anyone does that night.

The Garda leaflet adds a point for groups: “be conscious that you could be causing anxiety for persons walking on their own.”[3] Crossing the road, or letting a lone walker go on ahead, costs nothing.

If you are attacked, ring 112 or 999, and report it as soon as you can.[3] More on getting home, phones, taxis and spiking is in Personal safety out and about.

Domestic abuse against men

Domestic abuse “can happen to anyone”, Men’s Aid says, regardless of “age, gender, ethnicity, religion, or sexuality”.[6] The law is the same whoever you are. The Gardaí define domestic abuse as “all acts of physical, sexual, psychological or economic abuse” within a family or between current or former partners.[4]

What it can look like. Men who contact Men’s Aid describe things like:[6]

• being cut off from family and friends
• having every move monitored, including through a phone, laptop or car
• being put down, humiliated or told nobody will believe you
• threats to share intimate images or personal information
• being denied money, food or heating

Men’s Aid also asks: “Are you constantly walking on eggshells?”[6]

Coercive control is a crime. The Gardaí describe it as “when a person knowingly and persistently engages in behaviour that is controlling and/or coercive and has a serious effect on you.”[4] If you report it, the Gardaí investigate, and if the case goes to court the State runs it, so “You will not incur any legal fees”.[4]

Going to the Gardaí. You can ring 999 or 112, or visit your local station and ask to speak to a Garda in private. You can ask for a Garda of the same gender, which “if possible it will be facilitated”.[4] The Gardaí will give you details of support services, and how to apply for a court order.[4]

Court orders. Safety Orders and other domestic violence orders are open to men as much as women. You can apply if you were “in an intimate relationship with the respondent”, for example, or if you are the other parent of their child.[8] Men’s Aid will explain the court paperwork if you ring.[9] Its court support covers some courts only.[9]

Same-sex relationships. Women’s Aid supports “gay and bisexual men suffering intimate partner abuse” and points them to the Male Advice Line, as well as to LGBT Ireland.[15] Women’s Aid also points to BeLonG To, for young LGBTQ+ people, and TENI.[15] The National LGBT Helpline is on 1800 929 539.[16]

If you are not ready to leave, that is your call. The Men’s Aid helpline will listen for as long as you want to talk, and you can take your time.[5]

After a sexual assault

Men are raped and sexually assaulted, as adults and as children. The HSE says: “If you have been sexually assaulted, it was not your fault.”[17]

• The Rape Crisis Helpline takes calls from anyone who has been raped, sexually assaulted, harassed or abused, at any time in their life.[10]
• A Sexual Assault Treatment Unit (SATU) cares for “people of all genders and gender identities, age 14 and over”, and all SATU care is free.[18]
• You do not have to report it to the Gardaí. A SATU can take forensic samples up to 7 days afterwards and store them for up to a year while you decide.[17][18]
• Abuse from childhood can be reported years later. In 2024 the CSO recorded 645 male victims who reported sexual offences more than a year after they happened.[1]

When things feel very dark

A mental health crisis, in the HSE’s words, “often means that you no longer feel able to cope or be in control of your situation.”[12] Men’s Aid says some men ring its helpline because of thoughts of suicide after years of abuse.[6]

If you or someone else is about to come to harm, ring 112 or 999, or go to an emergency department.[12]

If it is not that urgent, but you need help today:[12][14]

• Ring a GP, or the GP out-of-hours service at night or at the weekend. If you can, bring someone with you.
• Ring Samaritans free on 116 123, any time, day or night. You do not need credit on your phone.[13]
• Text HELLO to 50808 for an anonymous chat with a trained volunteer, any time. It is free.[12]
• Ring Pieta on 1800 247 247, or text HELP to 51444 (standard text rates). Its crisis helpline is run by therapists, 24 hours a day.[14]

If you are already with a mental health team, contact them in a crisis.[12] The HSE also says to talk to a GP if you are harming yourself or thinking about it.[20]

Looking out for a mate

The signs that a friend is struggling at home are often quiet. Men’s Aid lists things like a friend who has stopped going out, is always with his partner, gets constant calls from them, or is drinking more.[6]

What helps, from Men’s Aid and the Gardaí:[6][4]

• Listen, and believe him. The Gardaí put it in four words: listen, believe, reassure, support.
• Do not push. Men’s Aid says telling someone what to do “can further isolate them”.
• Pass on a number: Men’s Aid, the Male Advice Line or Samaritans.
• If he is in immediate danger, ring 112 or 999.

If a mate has gone quiet and you are worried about his mental health, the HSE says you can call these helplines for advice yourself.[12] Pieta’s therapists also support people who are worried about someone in crisis.[14]

Kit

There is no kit that keeps you safe from violence. CS gas, pepper spray and stun guns “are all totally prohibited in this country”, the Department of Justice says.[21] A charged phone does more (kit options: Phone bank).